The solution is often a soul-ution.

Tracey O'Connell
Aug 15, 2021
2 min read

Feeling lost? It’s been a weird few weeks for many I know. ⁣

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While on vacation, I found myself connecting with people I never expected to & simultaneously feeling disconnected from those I usually feel a strong connection with. ⁣

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Maybe it’s a combination of delta cases surging & summer ending while desperately craving a return to whatever “normal” is?⁣

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For me, it’s been a time of confusion around my deep need for connection. ⁣

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In typical “me” fashion, I’ve been doing lots of thinking. ⁣

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Too much thinking. ⁣

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My default behavior when things are chaotic or “off” is to spend a lot of time in my head analyzing & strategizing, trying desperately to return to what’s familiar & predictable as soon as possible. ⁣

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It’s my lifelong Controller, promising she can fix everything & soothe me. ⁣

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If you’re someone who also does this, then you already know it doesn’t work. Maybe you’ve also noticed that it annoys those around you since nobody likes to be controlled. ⁣

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When I don’t feel connected to others, or I feel like I don’t belong, I’m triggered back into the belief that I’m not enough. That I’m not worthy of attention or love. ⁣

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It may take me a little time to remember that I already know what that feeling signifies:⁣

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I don’t have meaningful connection to myself. ⁣

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While I still head up into my thoughts initially when I notice this happening, or phone a friend for reassurance, I’m getting better at remembering the most potent cure:⁣

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I need to be alone. ⁣

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Once alone, I do one of these 4 things, maybe several at once:⁣

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1. Go outside⁣

2. Move my body⁣

3. Write to myself longhand everything in my head until I’ve filled 3 notebook pages of paper⁣

4. Listen to music, ideally songs I know all the words to so I can sing along⁣

5. Read⁣

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All these things connect me to my soul. ⁣