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What if...?

Does this possibility scare you?

Maybe you’re sad because you’ve spent years trying to find the “right” person to

“complete” you. Maybe you’re angry at the way things are being done and you’d like them to be done differently. Maybe you’re miserable in your job and you’re hoping it will change.

What if you’re the one who can make everything better?

This possibility scares me because I find comfort in what’s familiar, even if it’s not serving me. But if it’s up to me to make a difference, then I have to step up, exert time and energy into the deep unknown entity that is me, and be accountable.

UGH (insert eye-roll emoji)

Accountability involves assuming responsibility for how things turn out. In this instance, I’m talking about responsibility for my own happiness, not responsibility for everyone else’s.

I can’t depend on others to make me happy. Not a life partner. Not my kids. Not my coworkers. I can’t depend on my job to make me happy. Or global leaders. I must assume responsibility for my own happiness. (I do depend on my dog to make me happy and so far, he does not disappoint…except when he was injured, and I didn’t handle that well. I still have work to do.)

I will be met with resistance. Societal conditioning has taught me to “feel bad” about myself if I prioritize myself. Societal conditioning has not taught me how to put myself first. Consequently, I’ve had to do the uncomfortable work of teaching myself what this looks like and how it feels in my body.

When we’re in alignment with what’s right for us, we experience a sense of ease and a freedom from anxiety. It’s a magical sort of feeling.

It turns out that all the years I was riddled with physical maladies, depression, anxiety, loneliness, and longing were because I hadn’t yet realized that I’m the one I’d been waiting for.

That thing that’s troubling you? It won’t get better until you take action to make it better. Honor yourself and your own needs, in whatever little ways you can. Little things add up to big change over time.

I’ve discovered that the only way to truly disappoint yourself is to betray yourself. Self-trust and inner wisdom are there inside of you, waiting for you to find them.

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